What if I told you / Matrix Morpheus Meme Generator

Your colleague has been scrolling a 200-page document for twenty minutes, looking for one word. You lean over, very slowly: "What if I told you about Control F." He has to go for a walk.

Your flatmate has thrown away half a loaf every week for three years. You open the freezer and show her that bread goes in it. She stares as if you've handed her a red pill.

Your mum asks why her phone dies by lunchtime. You show her the 37 apps she has open. She closes them one by one, like someone seeing the code behind the world.

Everyone at the gym believes legs can only be trained on a Monday. What if I told you the gym is also open on Thursday. On Thursday the squat rack is empty. It always has been.

Why it caught on: Laurence Fishburne's Morpheus in The Matrix (1999), though he never actually says "What if I told you" in the films; the image macro started on Reddit in February 2012. Everyone knows someone who needs the obvious explained slowly, in sunglasses.

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Best What if I told you / Matrix Morpheus posts

• What if I told you / there is no reason to teach kids about trans issues
• what if i told you / politicians don't give a shit about you
• What if i told you / Mondays aren't that bad. Its your job that sucks.
• What if I told you / That you don't have to wait until New Year's to resolve to improve yourself
• What if I told you / just saying things doesn't convince people
• What if i told you / that there is a game and all you can do is lose
• what if i told you / global warming is caused by sex
• what if i told you / the reason you got fired from your job is not because you are black, but because you are a lazy piece of shit
• what if i told you / that freedom of speech applies to everyone, including people you disagree with?
• what if i told you / you can be an atheist,... without insulting the religious
• What if I told you / Islam is homophobic
• What If I Told You / The President Isn't A King...
• What if I told you / algebra is just regular math with extra steps
• what if i told you / that picking something you want, and calling it a "right", doesn't make it a right
• what if i told you / you can work out without taking and uploading a picture of yourself
• What if I told you / That Mexico deports anyone that crosses it's borders illegally
• What if I told you / That I am cursed with a headful of useless information
• what if i told you / philosoraptor's claw is from his foot not hand
• What if I told you / Internet Explorer is not good at exploring internet.
• WHat if I told you / That supporting Hilary Clinton as a candidate because she is a woman is just as sexist as not supporting her because she is a woman